Baby Homework

Item #423 that they don't tell you when you get pregnant: There is TONS of homework.

For you ladies out there, I guarantee the most effective form of birth control is flipping through the "Guide to Your Pregnancy and Newborn." They should make this mandatory reading for all teenage girls.

It turns out there many things that happen over the 9 months that they NEVER show on TV or movies (my main source of truth). I had thought it only really gets bad at the end, but man...it is all a lie. There are things in there that I am too afraid to write about. Let's just say the body can do some strange things...

It doesn't end there. The books also do a great job of mentioning everything that could possible go wrong to the mother and the baby from conception until they graduate college. I'm convinced the purpose of these books is just to scare you out of wanting one.

Not everything was bad though. For example, I learned one of the top three concerns for an expectant father is whether the child actually belongs to him (along with the safety of the wife and the safety of the kid). They even recommend the mom to reassure the father on this fact. God bless America.

My Hump, My Hump, My Hump

A couple of funny stories as we attended Nidhi's engagement party in Southern California over Thanksgiving weekend.

The night started off with a bang when some lady went to Monica's mom and asked her Monica's age. Apparently she saw Monica and thought she was a knocked up, unmarried, 15 year old girl. It's crazy enough to think that Monica was that young...but it's nuts to ask her mom for confirmation. Do you really want to find out the answer to that question from their mother??

We had a great time at the party...for the first time on a long time Monica hit the dance floor. That baby was going crazy the whole night, so we may have a bhangra dancer on our hands. The highlight was when the DJ played "My Humps" and the whole dance floor was pointing to Monica's belly. Hilarious. That song definitely has a new meaning...

One out of the oven, one to go...

I get a kick out of you...

We finally hit the time in the pregnancy when others can see and feel the baby's kicks. It is a pretty trippy experience to realize there is actually a little person inside of Mon. And then you realize that it must be a really strange experience for the baby, being trapped in another person's body. Yikes. Good thing they don't remember any of it.

We are still in the early stages, but Mon has already felt several different types of kicks: the sharp kick/punch, rolling movements as the baby changes positions, and the long stretching positions. Rumor has it that eventually we will actually be able to see the foot. For Mon's sake, I hope that never happens.

In the meantime, just stare at Mon's stomach and hopefully you will see some excitement.

Google and Expectant Mothers

Monica (and by extension, the Little One) both finally had the chance to visit Google for the first time. Mon took advantage of some unique Google perks, including the expectant mother parking right in front of the building. Mon also had a chance to enjoy the Google cafeterias. I'm all for high quality all you can eat food that doesn't cost me a dime. We may need to do this a few more times...

As for the baby, if the wait list for Google Daycare ever opens up, Baby Chandra may be making a lot more visits to Google in the near future. And no, it is not free. In fact, it is more expensive than most daycare...but the kids get their own chef, so they can get spoiled before they are one year old.

Meanwhile, our attempts to get the baby a unique name tag were foiled by the receptionist.

Boy or Girl?

As most of you know, Monica and I have decided to find out the sex of the baby at time of delivery. But that hasn't stopped many people, including random strangers, from guessing the sex. We even had our waitress at an Ethiopian restaurant guarantee that it was a girl.

It turns out there is an amazing science behind predicting baby gender. Here are some of the data points that prove my point:

- If the heart rate is above 160, it's a girl (check)
- If your belly looks like a basketball, it's a boy (check)
- If you are craving sweet foods, it's a girl (check)
- If the shape of your face does not change, it's a boy (check)
- If your husband puts on weight during the pregnancy, it's a girl (no comment)

Obviously, science fails here. But there is a better way...let's have the market decide. So we will soon be introducing a betting pool to guess the gender. Stay tuned.